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Falling Out Of Love With Reading

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I have been reading books for as long as I can remember. In fact, if possible, I probably would have been born holding a book. Growing up I was fortunate not to have to worry about money and my mother raised me on the principle of “if you want a toy you have to wait a week to be sure you really want it, but if you want a book you can have it now.” Naturally my child mind wanted the thing I could have now; Quite a clever tactic really. I was read stories before bed; though my father preferred to make up his own stories and encourage me to do the same.

I take books everywhere with me. Even if I know for sure there is not an opportunity to read, I bring one along as a “just in case.” You never know when a quick two minutes might occur to pop into a fictional world. As I struggled with those around me not wanting to talk about books all the time – and many not reading the same things as me – I turned to the internet in search of a space that had other people like me. And thankfully I found a whole community.

And here we are, three years into a blog and a couple of months past a disastrous booktube channel attempt. Like many, I feel so much pressure to not only keep up with the new books but love them as everyone else and I feel like a failure when I don’t. My blog is scheduled so far in advance but already I’m worrying about the fact that I haven’t finished anything new that I want to review.

Back in March, it started to creep in like a gremlin lurking in the shadows: the reading slump. It manifests itself differently for everyone. But for me, I just don’t enjoy what I’m reading. Even if it’s textbook the sort of thing I would like, it just leaves me feeling empty. Reading is often an escape from my mental health which is obviously not a good way to go about things. But not enjoying reading also leads to me having a general life slump and I realise that I don’t have that much in my life outside of reading and writing, and it’s a dark place to be at times.

It can feel lonely and hopeless and I’m yet to find a way to really get out a reading slump other than to reread something I loved dearly. But then that pressure to be involved in the community bubbles to the surface again and I realise I’m falling behind. It’s sad to, in a way, fall out of love with books; especially when knowing how much time the author put into them.

But for now, I’ll keep muddling through a reading slump that’s been around since March… and hope for the best.

9 thoughts on “Falling Out Of Love With Reading

  1. If blogging is making you feel pressured to read and love certain books, maybe you should take a little break? Especially if you say you have posts scheduled pretty far in advance, anyway, there’s nothing wrong with stepping back and letting the scheduled stuff take care of itself. Reading things because you “need” to read them for your blog can definitely suck the joy out of it. Letting yourself read a few books you have no intention of reviewing might help.

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  2. If you’re reading because you feel like you need to and rather than for enjoyment I’m not surprised you’ve lost love for it little bit. I know it’s easier said than done but go easier on yourself. The only person you are failing is yourself. It’s the only person you owe anything to. Take some time for yourself and focus on you. Forget everything else.

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  3. Don’t be afraid to take a break, sometimes it’s just what you need.
    I found lowering my Goodreads challenge goal helped take off some pressure.
    Slumps happen and trying to force yourself to read can make it worse or even make you resent reading. Maybe try something different for a while? When I’m in a slump I binge-watch a show on Netflix and play Guild Wars 2.
    Cora | http://www.teapartyprincess.co.uk

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    1. I actually didn’t set a goodreads goal and stopped doing my booktube channel to try and get rid of some of the pressure and general negative feelings around reading. I’m on with Victoria Schwab’s new book and really enjoying it so this might be a step in the right direction. Maybe a Netflix binge is also needed!

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