Posted in contemporary, lgbt, review, young adult

Noah Could Never – Simon James Green

“Sometimes having something really nice in your life was worse than not having it, because it made you worried you were going to lose it. And losing something is worse when you know just how wonderful the thing is.”


Blurb: “Noah and Harry are now officially boyfriends, but is Noah ready to go all the way? It’s no help that a group of cosmopolitan French exchange students have descended on Little Fobbing – including sexy Pierre Victoire, who seems to have his eye on Harry! Meanwhile, Noah’s paired up with a girl … who, most outrageously, is not even French. But that’s not all: the police are monitoring Noah, and he can’t tell if it’s because his dad and secret half-brother, Eric, have made off with his gran’s fake diamonds; because his PE teacher is receiving mysterious cash infusions from Russia; or because drag queen Bambi Sugapops is hiding out at Noah’s house in the midst of a knock-down, bare-knuckled drag feud. Will Noah ever catch a break?”

Noah Can’t Even was a book I discovered in 2017 by pure chance, through an author interview with another reviewer. It was brilliant, hysterical and found its way onto my list of favourite books for the year. So, naturally, when I heard the news of a sequel, I was impatiently counting down the days until its release.

I honestly don’t know where to start with the protagonist, Noah Grimes. He is over-the-top, constantly battling this pressure to be better than he is, sarcastic and unintentionally hysterical, as well as painfully cringy at times. Frankly the list of reasons I love this character is just too long to cover here. There are many situations that Noah ends up in that could only happen to him: from ending up travelling to London with a drag queen, getting landed with a French exchange student who isn’t even French, and (in possibly my favourite scene in fiction ever) having to chase around a goose that has swallowed some family diamonds.

After reading the synopsis when it first came out, I was very worried as sequels can go drastically one way or the other. Initially, it felt like there were too many things happening for such a short book to fully explore. But, I can confirm that it all just slots together and works perfectly. As I said, it could only happen to Noah and there were times when I couldn’t breathe for how much I was laughing as some of the events taking place.

Admittedly, I don’t tend to go for books with male protagonists. Which is weird to say but it just so happens that the books I pick up don’t tend to have them at the forefront a lot. Anyway, it was nice to see Noah and Harry establishing their relationship together but also seeing how Noah dealt with that shift: he tries to go to a gym to get buff so that Harry will love him more, worries that he’s not good enough and feels that ever recognisable pressure when it comes to sex. (I mean, of course he’d get a boner in math class, hanging from the monkey bars in gym class but heaven forbid he get one when it comes to being intimidate with his boyfriend!) While it was all delivered in the typical exaggerated way, it was nice to see that side to Noah more.

My new favourite side character had to be the drag queen, Bambi, who just seems to adopt Noah and take him on this random adventure to see her show. Some of the lines she came out with had my in absolute stitches and, as mentioned earlier, the goose scene is one I’m not going to forget in a hurry.

Noah Could Never takes every element I loved from the first one and mixes it in with brand new adventures that left me with the biggest smile on my face.

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A proud Hufflepuff who talks about books and also tries to write them.

2 thoughts on “Noah Could Never – Simon James Green

  1. Ahh, I prob ought to read “Noah Can’t Even”. Also, is it again the fate of the French to be dem sexpots? Almost makes one pine for the days when they were known for swinging their swords, not their… uh, never mind. 😀


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